Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Best Happy Hours in Las Vegas

If you're anything like me, you're broke. And not just broke and hoping for an eventual respite, but you've come to believe and accept that being broke is simply your natural state of being, one which you will not break from at any time in near future. But just because people like us have no money doesn't mean we don't like to drink... in fact, not having any money is one of the main reasons we are so eager to drink.

Keeping your conflicting desires to get messed up and save cash in mind, I humbly present my list of the best Happy Hours in Las Vegas, with the sincere hope that I can help you get wasted without being wasteful:

LEVEL 107 LOUNGE 
Stratosphere
4:00- 7:00 PM Daily
2 for 1 Martinis, Half Price Appetizers
Named for the fact that it's on the 107th floor of The Stratosphere (a casino whose theme is basically "tallness"), this funky Jazz lounge features live music Wednesday- Sunday evenings and an absolutely unbelievable view of The Strip. You'll feel like a real classy chap or broad as you sip on the 2 for 1 Martinis and half price Shrimp Cocktails, without spending classy chap or broad cash.

TENAYA CREEK BREWERY
3101 N Tenaya Way
Las Vegas, NV 89128
4:00- 7:00 PM and 10:00 PM- 2:00 AM Monday- Friday
$9 Pitchers, $3 Pints, $4 Imperials, $1 off Wines and Well Drinks
Originally a restaurant and brewery, the owners of Tenaya Creek realized their true passion was making delicious Beers, which they decided to focus on exclusively in 2008. Good thing too, because they've mastered the craft of the Craft. Enjoy some of their excellent Brews, like their Hop Ride IPA and Red Ryder Ale in their tasting room just a short drive from The Strip.


DOWNTOWN COCKTAIL ROOM
111 S Las Vegas Blvd
Las Vegas, NV 89101
4:00- 8:00 PM Mondays- Fridays
$5 Mixed Drinks, $7 Specialty Cocktails
This is not the first time I've sung the praises of Tony Hsieh's favorite watering hole, and while $7 isn't cheap for a drink by anyone's stretch of the imagination, the  DTCR's signature Cocktails are truly special (and worth their full, non-happy hour prices). So visit this mecca of Downtown cool before 8:00 PM on a weeknight and hobnob with the most influential Las Vegans as they unwind after work while you enjoy reduced prices on a selection of the most creative Cocktails made with fresh seasonal ingredients made by some of the best mixologists in town.

THE GRIFFIN
511 Fremont St
Las Vegas, NV 89101
5:00- 8:00 PM Daily
$1 Off Everything, $3 Draft Beers, $3 Well Drinks, $3 PBR
As I continue to endorse Bars I've already endorsed, we arrive again to the awesome Griffin with it's excellent Happy Hour prices featured every night (even weekends!) and observe its continied dominance as the king of hipster bars in Las Vegas by offering deals on PBR Tallboys. One complaint though... somehow, even as Craft Brew fever continues to spread amongs the hipsteratti, people are unable to avail themselves of the idea that Hipsters love PBR because of the irony factor. The truth is that we drink it for the same reason as anyone who drinks it: because it's really friggin' cheap.


JAPONAIS
The Mirage
5:00 PM- 8:00 PM Daily
$7 Appetizers, $7 Cocktails, $4 Beers
This fancy-schmancy Sushi restaurant in The Mirage is incredible, but pretty expensive if you miss their happy hour deals. And since you're not stupid, you should go for the happy hour deals. Their signature cocktail, The Floating Orchid is a sweet but not cloying concoction made with Vodka, fresh Pear, Lemon Juice and an actual, edible floating orchid that my ex-girlfriend was delighted by when I got her one a few years back. (She wasn't delighted enough to spare me the heart stomping she delivered when she dumped me few months after we went to Japonais together. This just got weirdly personal. Japonais is good.).

ARTISAN HOTEL BOUTIQUE BAR AND ULTRALOUNGE
1501 West Sahara Avenue 

Las Vegas, NV 89102
4:00 PM- 8:00 PM Sunday- Thursday
50% Off All drinks and Appetizers
The sleek lounge at this hotel, which I've already argued is becoming the Las Vegas equivalent of an Ace property (at least until an actual Ace Hotel finally opens there, fingers crossed), has a sexy gothic library vibe and serves some great signature cocktails and Beers. Which are even better when they're half off. Worth the off-Strip trek even if you're not staying there for their great happy hour deals. Just make sure you don't overdo it at those prices then get into a car to head back to The Strip.


FIREFLY
3900 Paradise Rd
Las Vegas, NV 89119
Monday- Thursday 3:00 PM- 6:00 PM, Friday 3:00 PM- 5:00 PM
Half off Drinks and Tapas
A fun and lively Tapas Kitchen and Bar with prices that are awesomely reasonable even outside of their later afternoon Happy Hour, Firefly is worth the journey for some Spanish style dining (though eating and drinking before 6:00 PM is very un-Spanish practice). The Vegas original restaurant's excellent Lamb Skewers, Empanadas, Croquetas, and Duck Rolls taste perfect when washed down by their fresh and tangy Sangria... but taste like pure victory when you pay half price.

CENTER BAR
Hard Rock Hotel and Casino
Daily 4:00 PM- 8:00 PM
Daily Specials and 2 for 1 Drink Specials
Formerly known (and often still referred to) as Circle Bar, The Hard Rock's Center Bar (named for the fact that it's in pretty much the exact middle of their casino floor) was somewhat of a game changer when it first opened. While it resemble many other similar casino bars, this place was once a mecca for the real-life rock stars that the resort is dedicated to honoring. Today, Center Bar attracts some of the most weird, interesting, and plain burned out Vegas party goers, making it one of the best spots for people watching in town. The weird round concave ceiling does some quirky things with the acoustics that make people listening easy as well, as you can perfectly eavesdrop on accidentally overhear conversations from clear across the room if you're positioned in the right spot. And since this is one of the only Las Vegas casino bars with a happy hour, it's worth rocking... hard.

DOUBLE HELIX WINE AND WHISKEY BAR
Shoppes at The Palazzo
Daily 3:00 PM- 6:00 PM
Half Off Selected Wines and Beers
Wine snobs are basically alcoholics with a classy cover, but if you're a fan of the more adult way of getting messed up, The Double Helix Wine and Whiskey Bar in The Shoppes at The Palazzo is one of the best Vino-Centric spots in Las Vegas. And their Happy Hour, where you can enjoy pours of an ever changing selection of Reds and Whites for half off, allows you to feel sophisticated while you save. The place also offers $5 Wine Tastings on Friday evenings, but don't do the thing where you slosh the Wine around and stick your nose in your glass unless you actually know why you're doing it. Otherwise, you're just being a douche.

TODD ENGLISH P.U.B.
Crystals at CityCenter
Monday- Friday 3:00 PM- 6:00 PM
Half off Beer Pints and Wines by the Glass (Tuesdays 9:00 PM- 11:00 PM Honey Nut Brown Ale Pints for a Nickel)
Celebrity chef Todd English, who created one of the cornerstones of upscale foodie dining with his spectacular Olives at The Bellagio (worth the insane menu prices to experience the amazing food on the restaurant's gorgeous patio with the best views of the resort's famous fountain show), hits a bulls eye with his hip take on the classic neighborhood pub. The beautifully designed Bar and restaurant features hand-designed copper ceilings, a horse-shoe shaped wooden bar, and custom hourglasses, which are used to challenge customers to drink down an entire pint before time runs out in order to win a free drink. But if you don't feel like embarrassing yourself by trying to knock back a pint in an obscenely short amount of time, you can save money without acting like a frat boy by visiting the P.U.B. during their happy hour, when you can enjoy their excellently curated selection of Beers or Wines by the glass for half off. The even better deal happens on Tuesdays, when you can score pints of Honey Nut Brown Ale for a mere nickel. If you want to experience English's excellent cuisine, though, you'll have to pay full price.

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