Escape from Douchebaggery, Part 25: Secret Pizza at The Cosmopolitan

We're 25 posts in to the Escape from Douchebaggery series! That's enough posts that you couldn't possibly get all of my recommendations in during one Las Vegas trip. But nobody should go to Vegas just once. What are you gonna do, be a financially responsible human who makes good decisions, when you could enjoy pure excess in metropolitan?


And at some point while you're making bad decisions til incredibly late/ early, you're gonna need to eat something to soak up the poison you've been imbibing. One of the best and coolest spots to grab a drunken late night bite on The Strip is Secret Pizza at The Cosmopolitan.

The restaurant has become a word of mouth sensation even though The Cosmo doesn't advertise its existence (or list it on their website), and they've cheekily hidden it away in a corner in the back of the casino. The secrecy lends the place a cool underground vibe similar to the small and grungy Burger Joint hidden away in midtown Manhattan's elegant Le Parker Meridian Hotel. While the restaurant isn't hard all that hard to find, you'll have to a wee bit of searching to find the simple sign marking the willfully hidden gem.

Unlike The Burger Joint, where the staff is legendarily rude, Secret Pizza's tattooed and alty staff is friendly and relaxed. The vibe is catnip for a lover of divey punk bars like myself, with framed vinyl record covers lining the walls and a few old school video games and pinball machines to help you kill the time while your pizza cooks.

Oh right, and how is the, you know, pizza at Secret Pizza, you might ask. Pretty damned great, especially when you're scarfing it at 3:00 AM on a long weekend night (the place is open until 5:00 in the morning on weekends). The place has tons of topping options beyond the usual Pizza Hut selection, with Ricotta Cheese, White Sauce, and fresh meats among your choices. All pies are made fresh, which means you'll have to wait a few minutes, but the slices will taste a lot better than the congealed offerings sitting under heat lamps for hours at the many Sbarros on The Strip.

A whole pie isn't cheap (it'll run you about $30), but it's the best bang for your buck for late night food (because you really don't want to Denny's, ever) and you can feed an entire group with a large. If you don't want to go all in a whole pizza, the place sells slices (also slightly expensive at $5 a pop). They've also got a couple great beers on tap as well, including an excellent Dogfish Head IPA.

Hidden away at the back of The Cosmo, it might take you a little detective work to discover Secret Pizza. But it's worth the effort (and will afford you a satisfying sense of accomplishment after a long night of partying) to find some of the most delicious pizza in Las Vegas served in an extremely cool space that embodies the spirit of the "curious class demographic" that The Cosmo is aiming to draw better than a fancy bar in a chandelier ever could. And don't ruin the fun by telling your friends how to find the place once you've been. Because sometimes the search is as much fun as the destination.