Never Enough Chlorine: Strip Club Pool To Open In Early 2013

If the Mayans weren't right about the world ending later this month, perhaps they should have been: Sapphire, the world's largest Strip Club, is dipping their toes into the ever-expanding Las Vegas "daylife" scene, as the Sapphire Pool and Day Club is set to open in March, with a preview day scheduled for this week.

I mean, I'm not a moralist whose against strip clubs. I've been to my share of strip clubs. I enjoy strip clubs. In fact I have a problem where I'm spending all my money at strip clubs. Please help me. This blog is a cry for help. (None of this is true, other than the "I've been to my share of strip clubs. Don't send help). But an outdoor pool area combined with a strip club? Is this something anyone is clamoring for?

Personally, on the rare occasion when I go into a strip club (I promise, rare is the actual operative word here, I know some of you might be worrying that I'll need to set up a PayPal account to fund my sad addiction to paying for lap dances from girls with daddy issues who smell of coconut body oil), the fact that the place is dark is a good thing. I'm not saying that I'm ashamed of going or anything like that, but do I really need to pay for a lap-dance in the bright sun?

Sapphire is actually a pretty impressive operation, as far as "Gentlemen's Clubs" go. I went for a bachelor party, and between the odd conversations I got with the dancers about politics and the fact that I one of them said I look like one her Rabbi (I'm assuming it's because she has a super broody/sexy/mysterious Rabbi, and not because I look like a middle aged religious leader... I hope), I was actually impressed, in both good and bad ways, by the sheer scale of their operation. And I can understand Sapphire's desire to get involved in the extremely profitable pool-party/ dayclub trend that's overtaken Vegas like a virus transmitted through ill-advised drunken hookups, but I question the type of clientele the place will attract.

Dudes go to the pool parties to meet ladies, pure and simple. They gather around a body of water and compete with other males by showing off their abs as they attempt to impress the females. It's kind of like a nature documentary, with big name DJs shipped in from Europe to provide the soundtrack instead of Morgan Freeman's voice over narration. But that leads me to the question... will women who are not paid to be there show up at a stripper pool?

Sapphire already has a history with the pool party scene... they partnered with The Rio a few years ago to open a Sapphire themed pool area at the resort which featured topless dancers from the club, but the place was closed down in 2009 when it failed to pass an "integrity check" by local police. Basically the place had become a cess-pool of prostitution and drug deals, which is not super surprising considering everything. The so-called "integrity-checks" were voluntarily conducted by Rio management, which probably felt jumpy about diving into the venture with a strip club, so The Sapphire-run pool will probably not face such problems (and by this they will probably not run "integrity-checks," though I'm sure the other issues that integrity checkers were checking for will certainly persist).

The whole idea just has a creepster vibe in my opinion, but then again, the owners of Sapphire Pool and Day Club might be totally okay with attracting creepsters to their establishment. And it's possible I'm completely wrong and the place will become the hottest and sexiest pool area in  the city.

Either way, I'll let everyone else enjoy their douche-tastic pool party scene and take my chances at The Golden Nuggets pool on Fremont Street in Downtown. They've got a waterslide that goes through a shark tank, after all.