The Rat Pack Would Not Have You, Mr. Macfarlane

A lot of people have been scratching their heads and trying to figure out exactly what Seth Macfarlane was doing onstage at The Oscars (now the official name of the awards show, as Academy Awards is considered too old-timey or something) as the creator of Family Guy and Ted bombed joke after joke. Macfarlane bizarrely tried to mix off-color humor with old-school song and dance-man routines, throwing out sexist jokes then participating in numbers that would have felt contemporary before the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. "What is going on here?", millions of people seemed to be thinking (and hundreds of people in my Twitter feed) asking all at once.


But close-Macfarlane watchers will know exactly what he was doing... he was making his latest appeal to join The Rat Pack. While Macfarlane playing around with his self-indulgent fantasies that he'd fit in next to Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. is fine on his own time, but forcing nearly a billion people globally (note... this number is, like the egos of many Hollywood stars, spectacularly inflated... considering the fact that the largest audience for the Oscars is the United States and 40 million people watched the decently-rated show last night, where do the rest of the 900 million plus people come in? I've read that the number is much closer to 300 million, which is admittedly a whole lot of people, but barely a quarter of the way to the big B word) is another story entirely.

In 2011, Macfarlane put out Music is Better Than Words, an album where he covered a bunch of old swing-era standards. Reviews were decidedly mixed as Macfarlane indulged in his Rat Pack era fantasies, but if you didn't want to hear him try to pretend he belonged in a Vegas showroom in the 60's, you could pretty easily avoid listening to the music, which didn't exactly set the world on fire. Look, bro, it's cool that you used your resources to make your ego-trip But letting MacFarlane loose onstage at The friggin' Oscars is another story entirely.

Look, I understand the motivation behind hiring the guy. I'm not a big fan of his work, but there are plenty of people who are, as the fact that Family Guy has been on since the 90's and Ted's half-billion global gross can attest to... the guy has a huge fan-base, and they're young. Ratings were up 19% over last year's Billy Crystal-hosted snooze-fest, so the producers got the boost they wanted, especially among young viewers. But reviews for MacFarlane have been blindingly harsh, as his (ultra-lame) meta opening bit featuring William Shatner as Captain Kirk traveling from the future to warn him that he would be described as the worst Oscar host in history proved to be prescient (and did not work to stave off such criticisms simply by BEING meta).

MacFarlane is an uber-successful TV show creator and now film writer/ director. While he voices many characters on Family Guy, American Dad!, and The Cleveland Show, and he played the title talking teddy bear (who sounded suspiciously like the main character in Family Guy) in Ted, MacFarlane has little experience performing as himself. While he did a decent job on Saturday Night Live a few months back, that doesn't suddenly make him Chris Rock, Billy Crystal, Bob Hope, or Johny Carson. MacFarlane seemed nervous throughout the night, shifting his weight back and forth and making the camera-men work overtime to follow him in medium closeup as joke after joke bombed, and while he looked like he enjoyed singing and dancing along with Channing Tatum, Charlize Theron, Joseph Gordon Levitt, and Daniel Radcliffe, Fred Astaire he is not.

Look, I don't want to pick on the guy too much. I'm not a fan, but he's got an audience who loves what he does. My main point is that MacFarlane was trying to pull of a Rat Pack swagger where he could be comically irreverent in one moment and earnestly worshipful to old showbiz style in the next. That mixture makes sense on paper, and a more modern Rat Pack style entertainer would be a great fit for the Oscars. But Macfarlane's jokes came off as mean-spirited, his dancing and singing was nothing to write home about, and he projected a smarmy attitude when he didn't seem outright nervous. This is not what we deserve from an Oscar host viewed by (maybe a quarter of a) billion people worldwide. Just because MacFarlane fantasizes about being part of The Rat Pack riffing onstage at The Sands or Riviera showrooms in the 60's doesn't mean Sinatra and co. would let him into their club.

That kind of swagger where you can be take jabs but remain likable, where you can make fun of people while also implying that you still like them, where you can project a frat-boy ease without coming off as a bro-ed out jerk is not easy to pull off, and choosing a guy with next to no hosting experience under his belt to try and bring that Vegas in the 60s persona back to life was not the right way to go, despite the ratings boost. The thing that's totally shocking to me is that ABC already has the perfect solution on their network and aired his show right after The Oscars ended... Jimmy Kimmel displays ALL of the qualities that the producers were looking for when they tapped MacFarlane... he's got that fratty, proto-Rat Pack swagger where he can take digs at mega-stars (and they can digs right back at him) while remaining totally likeable and confident. His Oscar-tied in and Hollywood-skewing video he aired during his special post-Oscars episode, "Movie: The Movie 2" is already a hit, after the original "Movie: The Movie" fake trailer racked up an impressive 30 million or so views since it came out a year ago.

Kimmel, who ABC is aggressively pushing into the limelight as he steps in to compete with Dave and Jay in his new 11:30 PM slot, will probably end up hosting The Oscars in the near future, perhaps as soon as next year. My question is why they didn't tap him this year instead of tapping a guy with no hosting experience? Seth MacFarlane wants to be a member of The Rat Pack in  the 60's in the worst way. But watch Sinatra and pals take the stage in any video on YouTube from that era and you'll see why they would never have invited the guy into their club even if he could be beamed back in time, Captain Kirk style.

Oh well, better luck next year Oscar producers. I think we can at least all agree to love the awesomely gaffe-prone and genuine Jennifer Lawrence. Now there's a chick Frank Sinatra and the boys would want to hang out with.

The Veleveteen Rabbit Set To Finally Become Real In March

The classic children's story The Velveteen Rabbit is about a stuffed bunny struggling against the odds to become real, empowered by the love of his owner. The story of The Velveteen Rabbit Bar in Downtown Las Vegas follows similar beats as the beloved children's tale, with two sisters who have struggled against the odds to take a magical dream and make it real through the sheer force of love... and it looks like a happy ending is finally around the corner.

I've already mentioned the bar in a previous post, but I also figured that the place would be open by now, but the place has been delayed a few times. While Pam and Christina Dylag had a tough road to sow in getting their dream business off the ground, The Facebook Page page for ambitious (and off Fremont) DTV entertainment district Downtown 3rd reports that the whimsical bar will start pouring real cocktails sometime in March.

ERIC ITA/VEGAS SEVEN

This is a happy ending to a story that seemed like it might not have one. Just a few weeks ago, The Las Vegas Review Journal reported on the latest (but seemingly last) hurdles that the Dylag sisters faced in getting their bar set up for business. The place has been two years in the making, as the sisters chose to renovate an abandoned and fire damaged old furniture store in Downtown, knowing it would inject some character and history into their business. But renovations were more difficult than expected, as simple things like hooking up the building to sewer lines (which is a pretty big necessity, obviously) proved more difficult and expensive than originally anticipated. Thus far, the sisters have spent two years renovating their space and already sunk nearly $250,000 into a bar that is still not operational.

DAVID BECKER/LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL

Another difficulty they faced setting up gaming in the bar. This is Vegas we're talking about, after all, and the sisters originally planned to install five slot machines at The Velveteen Rabbit. But in 2011 a new ordinance was passed mandating that a business must offer a certain amount of square footage for food service in order to install five or more slot machines, a law that makes absolutely no sense and is blatantly designed to favor large casinos over small bars.

But the sisters finally caught a break recently, as the city council unanimously approved them for a "quick-start" grant, in which they were awarded nearly $35,000 to offset the crazy costs of making sure the renovated building is in compliance with the city's constantly shifting codes.

So with that victory, it looks like the dream is actually, finally, becoming a reality. Located a few blocks away from the quickly growing Fremont East District on Main Street, right in the middle of The First Fridays Art Walk route, the sisters are hoping to contribute to the expansion of Downtown as it evolves into a truly walkable area for locals. You can take a look at the sister's official blog to catch a glimpse of the whimsical and imaginative vision that that these two crushable, bad-ass, Vegas-born, and Bohemian sisters with eclectic taste will bring to life at the bar.

They haven't given anyone a full glimpse into what the finished interior will look like yet, but we can expect a whimsical place complete with furniture and antiques purchased from local thrift stores, mismatched glassware, creative signature cocktails created with fresh ingredients and love, a smartly curated menu of craft brews, local art on the walls, performances by local bands and DJs , fire damage incorporated into the aesthetic, a colorful Victorian design, chandeliers made from recycled and re-purposed glass bottles, and four (but not five) slot machines. And next month, you'll finally be able to visit the place for real as it goes from much loved concept to actual working watering hole, from hotly anticipated bar to actual hangout for local creative types and "curious class" Vegas tourists alike.

Opening The Velveteen Rabbit has been a labor of love for the Dylag sisters that has taken years (and lots of money) to come to fruition, but that's only appropriate, considering the bar's namesake. To paraphrase the original story by Margery Williams, when someone "loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real. It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time."

The Inevitble Downtown Backlash Has Begun

If there is one absolute truth on the internet, it's this: haters gonna hate. Thus, it's no surprise that the low rumble of backlash has already begun to surface in response to Tony Hsieh's ambitious plans for the future of Downtown Las Vegas.

In a recent column in Vegas Seven Magazine, writer Heidi Kyser criticized Hsieh's efforts to revamp the entire Downtown area using only private money. Kyser was responding to reports of a proposed dog park in Downtown that would be exclusively available to fee paying members. Now, I'm not going to argue the idea of a private dog park designed by a person whose job it is to design dog parks from San Francisco in which you must pay membership dues isn't a little silly, or even a lot silly to the point of absurd satire, but I also wouldn't be so quick to single it out as the reason why Hsieh's plans are doomed to only benefit the super elite rich cool yuppie hipster class. While the fees seem a bit silly, the fact is there is no dog park in Downtown yet even though residents of the neighborhood are hungry for one, and the fees will help pay for the building and maintenance of said park. If the place proves to be popular enough, I don't think that will detract city government from building a public dog park, I think it will only encourage it. Hsieh's vision is to turn a formerly uninhabitable swath of abandoned lots and crumbling buildings into a truly vibrant and livable neighborhood with a young and creative community. Perhaps a private dog park with a membership fee is not ideal, but it's better than no dog park.

Beyond Kyser's mild and not entirely unjustified criticism, I've noticed a bit more hatorade being poured on the Downtown Project in comment threads than I used to. Certainly, comment boards are the most vile corner of the interwebs, where the cockroaches skitter under the floorboards and make racist, sexist, and homophobic comments anonymously and without repercussion. But it's still disheartening to see people write things like the below comment, posted in response to Kyser's piece:

All hail King Tony and his downtown hipster land.   Stay tuned for the Fixies only bike shop, the super tight jeans store,  the pub that only serves PBR, the eye glass shop with the super thick black frames, a store that sells retro stereo equipment like Boom boxes and cassette players.  Stay tuned for the enormous cloud of irony and cynasism that will form as this new Downtown hipster land takes shape.  If you don't think your cool enough to be a part of it you probably aren't.   Cop an attitude and find it all a bit passe and you'll fit right in.  While we are at it lets import some trustafarians.

I don't even know where to start in responding to this post, between the fact that they haven't updated their list of hipster cliches since Bush left office (a "supertight jeans store," really?) or the fact that he doesn't know the difference between "your" and "you're" (and thus would never get a date on OKCupid), but it's still an attitude that depresses me. A dude is investing a large chunk of his personal fortune into turning a dead area into a cool neighborhood with a personality different from the tourist mecca of The Strip just down the street and this guy is accusing the imagined future citizens of Downtown of cynicism?

Or how about this gem from the comment section under The Las Vegas Review Journal story announcing plans for the dog park, in which the very idea that the designer came from San Francisco is proof positive that it's a bad idea:

A transplant fron San Francisco. Need I say more? She and those like her ruined California and now are planning to destroy Nevada. This why Obama and Reid are elected. A dog park, with security? Can't your dogs run in the yard? You don't have a yard, take the stupid thing to the park. I don't want to pay for it with my tax money. She is after all from San Francisco and they are very good at spending other people's money.

The funniest part of this comment is that it's a fundamental opposite of the Vegas Seven article criticizing the fact that the Dog Park is publicly funded... this person is angry that a liberal Obama and Pelosi lovin' San Franciscan tax and spend welfare baby vegan type will spend all their hard-earned tax money on a park for dogs, while failing to take in the part that the project is privately funded, but he can still enjoy his anger at the idea that he'd have to pay for it with his tax money (while a privately funded dog park would probably end up costing him a few dollars at most in taxes, but that's neither her nor there)... why be informed on the internet when you can be OUTAGED?

I'll say that there is one common complaint I've seen amongst the comment boarders discussing Downtown that I totally agree with... the lack of a grocery store currently in the vicinity. If they really want people to move there, open up a Trader Joe's in the middle of the action, stat. That way there is high quality food available in walking distance from where people live, which means less driving and pollution and more reasons for San Francisco-hating commentators to become angry for no good reason.

Listen, I know I'm cherry picking a few choice comments and one editorial here, but this is the first time I've started to see any volume of criticism for the Downtown Project's epically ambitious neighborhood revitalization and rejuvenation plans. While criticism is good and will keep Hsieh and his merry band of Downtown dreamers honest and on the right path to truth and freedom, some of these complaints are pretty ludicrous to me. I agree that the idea of member-driven dog park with security guards and background checks for the pets sounds a bit like a Portlandia sketch, but it's at least a well-intentioned service being brought to a part of town devoid of said service up until now. And that's the point... for all of the hatin' them haters be hatin' on the Downtown Project, thus far everything they are getting steamed about has all been well intentioned, if not completely perfect in execution. The Downtown Project people are trying something experimental and ambitious and exciting, and they're sure to stumble more than a few times along the way. Who would ever get outraged at people like that?

Oh right, comment board lurkers posting under the cover of anonymity. They call 'em Trolls for a reason.

How to Have a Super Sunday in Las Vegas

I don't know exactly when it first started happening, but I've noticed that in the last few years most media outlets and businesses have come up with creative ways to describe a certain big game coming up this weekend instead of putting the word Super next to the name of the type of dish out of which you eat cereal, Ice Cream, or salad (if you're a hippie). I'm aware that the League of National Footballers is a quite litigious organization, but it seems sort of silly to me that most headlines or signs are forced to use terms like "Big Game" instead of the trademarked moniker for said sporting event, because doesn't that sort the name just serve to reinforce the brand?

Then again, The Sunday of The Superb-Owl (the title of a comic strip I could start drawing, but probably won't because I'm lazy... and also terrible at drawing) is basically a national holiday celebrated in greater numbers and with more fervor and religiosity than Christmas (even though Chicken Wings and Pizza places are all open instead of just Chinese restaurants), so I guess the league doesn't need any more publicity than they already receive and can just collect checks for people who use their trademarked game title and still feel confident that everyone in the country will be watching.

My question is, what happens when someone trademarks the term "Big Game?" Wait, I might do that right now. It was my idea, don't steal it! It makes me wonder who owns the BigGame.Com or TheBigGame.Com URLs on GoDaddy? Anyway, as per usual, I digress. The actual point of this post is all about how do Las Vegas on Super Salad Dish Sunday, so I suppose I'll focus on that.

The last time I was in Las Vegas for the big game was two years ago, when Aaron Rodgers and The Pack beat Pittsburgh in a pretty good game. The city pretty much shuts down during the much hyped match every year. While that sounds like an exaggeration, during the four quarters of the contest, it's easy to find a spot at usually packed gaming tables, lines for popular buffets are shorter, and attendance for shows dips. Which means those Cirque performers and Blue Men are both missing the game while performing in front of nearly empty houses, which is just sad when you think about it.

You really have two options on Big Game Sunday in Vegas... you can get to a cool sports bar or sports book hours and hours early and spec out a nice place to sit, spending tons of money over the course of the day on Beers and fried foods, basically paying rent on your highly desired real estate. Lagasse's Stadium at The Palazzo serves Emeril approved twists on sports bar classics in a space with tons of TVs, including a massive projection screen that you can view from actual stadium-style seats. And loyal readers know how much I love Public House at The Venetian, where you can enjoy an incredible selection of beers... but the hip and classy joint only features a couple TVs over the bar, so you will have to get there really early if you want a good seat for kickoff. If you've got the cash, many of the venues take reservations for the game where you can sign up for packages that include drinks and food along with seats near a TV, but it's expensive... the game watching equivalent of getting bottle service at a club, only with more nachos and less dubstep.

The other option, for those like me who are too lazy and unmotivated to post up at seats hours before the game and are too cheap to pay for the privilege of watching a game you can watch on hundreds (more like thousands) of TVs hanging all over town anyway is to not plan anything and just wander The Strip. Every single casino you walk into will be playing the game on every screen you look at. Honestly, it will be hard to not have the game in your line of vision no matter where you turn your head. Two years ago, my friends and I had a blast walking down The Strip, stopping at gaming tables and laying bets, collecting comped drinks, and watching a few plays before moving to the next place during commercial breaks. We watched the fourth quarter at The South Point Casino, chomping on Bacon 'n' Cheese Double Steakburgers and Thin Crispy Fries with Cheese Sauce at the furthest west location of the wonderfully terrible for your health Steak N' Shake, then hit the road ahead of traffic once the game clock hit zero. While this strategy might make serious football fans nervous, we timed it so that we didn't miss any key plays and moved to different locations during ad breaks and between quarters (because we really had no desire to watch the Black Eyed Peas during halftime anyway). And while the TV spots are just as big a part of the event, any truly outstanding ads will be available on Monday morning on Hulu and  YouTube anyway, so you're not going to miss anything.

I'd do the same thing this year, but this game is bigger for me than in years past. I'm from the Bay Area, so my Niners are in the big dance. That means I'll need true and deep focus, because we all know that fans watching the game at all times and wearing your lucky hat and eating the same food you ate the last time your team won the big game can have a big impact on what happens on the field (it's only weird if it doesn't work, as that ubiquitous Bud Light ad campaign pointed out). But if your favorite team isn't in the game? Walk The Strip as you watch the game and don't stress about finding a good spot. Because nothing will drown out your sorrow due to your team failing to make it to the big game better than the fresh sorrow you'll feel as you lose money at the various gaming tables along The Strip, at which point you'll make the same face Jim Harbaugh makes when even the most meaningless of calls doesn't go his way.

New Years Resolutions, Las Vegas Style

I know that it's basically a month into 2013, but the first few weeks of a new year are all about shaking off the epic hangover from NYE, working off the many calories you consumed during the holidays, and coming to terms with the passing of time and your inevitable mortality. So that's why I've waited until now to write my New Years Resolutions, or that's the excuse I'm using to frame this blog post.

All of these resolutions have to do with how I plan on enjoying Las Vegas for the rest of the year, so let's be clear: none of these have to do with drinking less, eating better, exercising more, spending less money, working on my career goals, or any sort of general self improvement. Las Vegas is not a city where you go to become a better you... it's where you go to escape the version of you that you hate!

Sunny intro aside, here are my big resolutions for my Vegas trips in 2013:

Support Downtown Even More
While I write about Downtown on this blog a lot (A LOT), my M. Night Shyamala twist ending deep dark secret is that I spend the lion's share of my Vegas time on The Strip. When I'm there with a group, it's hard to convince a bunch of disperate people to head to the still developing neighborhood when the reliably shiny and corporate approved Strip is right there. But Downtown seriously keeps getting better, and the only way for it to continue developing is for people to get out there and support it with their dollars. It's also generally cheaper to drink and gamble there than on The Strip, where low-stakes gaming houses are starting to become an endangered species. With that said...

Spend More Time In The Classic Casinos
The last few years have seen the end of The Stardust and The Sahara, while The Tropicana's renovations have been nice but also removed all traces of old-school charm from the property (except for that crazy lit up paneled ceiling that they thankfully retained). While Bill's Gamblin' Hall and O'Shea's weren't exactly Sinatra-era classics, they retained a certain old-time spirit/ seediness that's starting to disappear from The Strip. That's why I resolve to spend as much time as possible this year enjoying The Riviera and The Flamingo, two of the last classic era places still standing in relatively intact forms on The Strip, because, like a sick grandparent, nobody knows how long we'll have with them and every moment spent with them is precious.

Know When To Quit It
Of course, when giving gambling advice to Vegas newbies, I always tell them that the best move is to cash out if you win a decent amount, even though the temptation to double down will be strong. Similarly, the best thing you can do when you lose is to cut your losses and walk, or else your losses can begin to compound on themselves as you attempt to win the cash you lost back (it's a vicious circle we've all fallen into, and it's basically the type of logic that has kept the city in business for decades). While this advice is solid and logical and smart, it's also advice that I often ignore in my own gambling adventures... sure, I missed all my numbers at Roulette, but if I play one more hand, then I might win it all back and more! Just... one... more... hand. This year, I plan to walk away at smarter times, even if I haven't gotten a free drink from the cocktail waitress yet.

Party Smart
Las Vegas is one of those cities where all of the rules you've learned in your years of partying go out the window... you're so excited to be in Sin City that you just start doing Jager bombs and tequilla shots while downing beers and Jack & Cokes, you forget to drink water or even eat an actual meal, you stay up much later than you should even if you have an 11:00 AM checkout time (and have to shower first, because you're a human being, not a disgusting monster). This year, I  resolve to live by the code of "beer before liquor, never been sicker," to stay properly hydrated (Vegas is in the desert, for goodness sake), to eat a hearty meal capable of soaking up most of the damage I've done to myself over the course of the night, and to actually get some sleep at some point... if there's nothing more awesome to do at 4:00 AM, that is.

Try Something New On Every Trip
One of the tough things about doing weekends trips in Las Vegas is that with just two days and two nights to see and do things, it's tough to get everything in. And it's hard to not go and do the stuff you loved the last time, or the last few times.... that Caesars Buffet REALLY is great, so why risk new restaurant instead? Because it's a vacation and there is a lot more to see, that's why! I resolve to see some of the local's favorite dive bars, distinctly-Vegasy restaurants, oddball museums, off-Strip hotels, strange just out of town attractions, weird drive-through wedding chapels, hidden memorials, and more... it's all about getting out of my comfort zone and discovering even more reasons why Vegas is an awesomely strange American vacation city.

Just Have Fun Out There, Kid. Do What Comes Natural
As any good Little League Coach, knowing most of his players don't have a career in sports beyond the next couple years, tells his team... it's all about having a good time. Focus on winning (at the gambling tables), and you'll feel nothing but regret and remorse and ruin your vacation when  you don't walk away richer. I resolve to shake off my worries (not an easy task for a naturally neurotic human such as myself) and just have a good ol' time in Sin City this year.

(This last resolution started as a jokey wrap up to this nebulously themed post, then became surprisingly earnest. I guess that how most of the stuff I write evolves, in the end.)

The Strange Case Of The "Sports Bar For Women"

The latest mini-trend in Las Vegas seems to be restaurants and bars specifically targeted for the ladies. Eva Longoria's SHe by Morton's is a hip and intimate Steakhouse complete with DJs, dancers on elevated catwalks, and stilt-walkers that's already targeting groups of female friends heading out for a lady's night. The trend will continue with Heraea, a sports bar opening soon in The Palms (if the resort emerges from recent troubles unscathed) designed to appeal to the fairer sex from hip restaurant and bar gurus The One Group.

That's right, a sports bar for the ladies.

On first glance, the idea seems incredibly stupid. By no means am I arguing that women don't like sports or sports bars... in fact, that's what makes it ridiculous. Many, many women love sports, but I've never met one who went to watch a game and wished they had a more girl-friendly option at which to enjoy the Football game. I don't know any women who feel that Nachos and Beer are for boys, and wish they had better options Kale Salad and Cosmo options while they watch the game. The whole idea sounds like it could be potentially sexist even as its intended to be "for women." But then again, maybe The One Group people are onto something.


In an interview with The Las Vegas Sun, One Group CEO Jonathan Segal described his vision in two paragraphs that only sorta traffic sexist stereotypes:  “A couple are planning to go out in Vegas. The guy says, ‘Will you watch the game with me?’ The girl turns around and says, ‘OK, I want to go to Heraea at the Palms.’ And the guy says, ‘OK!’ He thinks he’s making the decision, but he’s not!”

Segal then added  "we have done the research, and 75 percent of all househould decisions are made by wives or girlfriends... and 100 percent of guys think they are in control, so women have learned exactly how to make the decisions while making us think we're making them. This hits exactly to the point of what we're aiming to do here."

Statistics like "100 percent of guys think they are in control," sound awfully unscientific, insultingly portray women as the ultimate manipulators and men and easily duped simpletons, and are basically as believable as stories of Manti Te'O's dead girlfriend (topical! and a sports reference!), but I can see his point. From what I can gather, Heraea will feature upscale food, chic design, and a bit of the restaurant as nightclub vibe that made The One Group's STK at The Cosmopolitan such a big hit. Despite a slogan that teases Heraea will be "where girls go to play," (a tag that might imply the place is the most expensive Lesbian Bar in a major Vegas resort, though if it becomes successful at that I'm sure The One Group will nto complain) the concept seems to be more of a sports bar that ladies who DON'T like sports will be okay with visiting with their husband/ boyfriends. and not an answer to the prayers of women who love sports but hate sports bars... because, again, I'm not really sure that's a demographic that exists. A Portlandia book store like place that is a "safe space for women" this will not be, I'm assuming.

But who knows? Perhaps The One Group is evolving the Sports Bar into something new, something that Sports Bars of the future will have to respond to. Personally, I think a place that pours cold Beer and serves giant plates of cheesy Nachos with your Football is a perfect thing, a case of "if it ain't broke, don't fix it," but The One Group's experiment in upscale and feminine friendly Pubbery works, then I'll be happy to say I'm wrong.

And it's also possible it will succeed simply because in bringing in more dudes who would go to a sports bar anyway but choose Hereae because they expect to find more ladies to chat up while they watch the game. In which case, well played, One Group. Well played.

Why Doesn't Downtown Have A Movie Theater?

I spent as much of what turned out to be a very busy weekend as I could tuning in to the live stream of epically awesome non-profit movie lover temple Cinefamily's eclectic 24 hour telethon. If you're unfamiliar with Cinefamily, they're a cinematheque with a fantastically diverse programming schedule that has featured everything from a John Cassavetes retrospective to obscure Czech New Wave gems to Muppet movie sing-alongs, not to mention a good dose of midnight cult movies that draw out drunken crowds whooping and hollering as Patrick Swayze tears out the throats of of evil red necks.

This year's telethon launched with superstar and all around awesome dude Robert Downey Jr. pledging to cover the cost of a new digital projector and sound system, ended with a potluck lunch hosted by Jason Schwartzman where head Cinefamily guru and the Rushmore star discussed movies that scared them as children, and featured interviews with Devo frontman/ film composer Mark Mothersbaugh, Parks and Recreation's invaluable Nick Offerman, and the creators of cult kid's show The Adventures of Pete and Pete, as well as a live scoring session by indie darlings Yacht, comedy from meta-insult slinger Neil Hamburger, and a spoon-bending class hosted by Hadrian's mom at 4:30 in the morning. The telethon brought in tens of thousands of dollars in donations that will go to much needed and richly deserved upgrades for the place, located in the historic Silent Movie Theater on Fairfax. The wide-ranging list of guests who dropped in to the theater gives you an idea of just how insanely eclectic and ambitious their programming is week in and week out, and the fundraiser willl help them continue to do what they're doing. The telethon is over, but they're continuing to raise money through a Kickstarter campaign, to which you can still make a donation until Jan. 2.

All of this got me thinking about the movie-going experience in Las Vegas, and specifically in Downtown Las Vegas. Currently, the neighborhood is pretty much void of theaters in general. For people looking to see The Avengers or The Dark Knight Rises, it's an easy trip to The Strip or The Palms, both of which feature conventional multiplexes. But the Las Vegas audience for indie cinema is a bit under-served, which is something that probably should be rectified if plans for Downtown Las Vegas to evolve into a smart, creative, and young population are to come true.

There isn't really an arthouse theater of any kind to speak of in the area. Theater 7 is a small and awesome little art gallery and performance space that also does screenings of cult movies and anime, but they don't really have the space or capacity to run a deep retrospective (like the epic Passolini festival  unfolding at MOMA in NY at the moment) or to show newer art films like Leos Carax's thrillingly beautiful, sad, hilarious, and wholly mysterious Holy Motors (one of my absolute favorite films of 2012). The question is, has Dowtown's population grown enough to support a theater that would show such films?

Currently, enough young professionals with spending money are pouring into Downtown that a theater showing current Hollywood hits and mainstream "mindie" films like Juno, Up in the Air, Young Adult, or (basically any Jason Reitman movie) could absolutely thrive. But could a theater such as Cinefamily or Austin's legendary Alamo Drafthouse (currently expanding its reach to New York and San Francisco, with plans to set up shop in LA as soon as they can find the right venue), which both mix in plenty of more esoteric fare (such as foreign, cult, and more challenging than the work of Jason Reitman indie flicks) find its footing in DTLV? I think the answer is a "maybe," but it would take an enthusiastic curator to pull it off.

Indie film is struggling lately, even in markets where people theoretically love film. The Laemmle Sunset 5, a cornerstone of my indie movie viewing when I moved to LA for film school, recently shut down (but was replaced by a new Sundance Cinemas, which fully renovated the place), which led to a controversial LA Weekly cover story about the "state of the art-house" the city. It was a decent article that railed against the fact that people in a town where the movies are made wouldn't go see more challenging fare that played at The Sunset 5 such as the Greek incest-ridden dark comedy psychodrama, Dogtooth, while pointing out that the movie did very good business in New York. But then the article went on to note that Dogtooth did quite well when it was screened at Cinefamily. And I think that's precisely where Longworth kind of missed the point.

Cinefamily has done a magnificent job of helping audiences find strange and wonderful films such as Dogtooth or Holy Motors discover enthusiastic audiences through their robust web and social media presence, which goes a long way to explaining why a movie they choose to screen is worth seeing for people who don't know much about it initially. They also do an excellent job at their screenings of convincing people why they should come back to see upcoming films, with Cinefamily's head nerd Belove often on hand to introduce the movies and talk about future shows personally. They also cut their own trailers and promos for their eclectic programming, such as their homemade spots for the effervescent Czech New Wave film Daisies and First Blood (the very first and decidedly darker Rambo movie, which they'll be showing for a week to celebrate the 30th anniversary of its release). If watching those two trailers doesn't give you an idea of just how eclectic Cinefamily's programming is, I don't know what will.

Similarly, the wonderful New Beverly Cinema, a rep-house where double features of classic films still only costs $7 to attend (which was recently saved from extinction by Quentin Tarantino) draws decent crowds to movies from decades past with good use of Twitter, their website, and old fashioned calendar print-outs that inform film-lovers of their upcoming slates. The American Cinematheque at The Egyptian in Hollywood and Aero in Santa Monica has a very ambitious slate every month of retrospectives, major new films, and documentaries, and more, and they also do good business by keeping audiences informed through email lists, their website, social media, and calendars that can be picked up at many venues all over the city. A recent screening of Barry Lyndon at LACMA (which has an incredibly in-depth Stanley Kubrick exhibit running through June 2013 and has shown his entire filmography in conjunction) sold out despite the fact that it's a period piece made in the 70's and is often considered Kubrick's "slowest" film (which is pure balderdash, as the movie is secretly a hilarious comedy that clips along at a nice pace despite its over 3 hour length, which includes an intermission, and also happens to be one of the most purely beautiful films ever committed to celluloid), something they achieved through similar means of getting their message out to the people.

My point is that, even in LA, where people make films, there needs to be helpful curation to coax audiences out of their homes and get their butts into theater seats. To me, Cinefamily is the greatest example of how to successfully pull audiences in to adventurous cinematic programming, but The New Bev, American Cinematheque, and LACMA are all proving it can be done as well. And Laemmle, the company that had to shut down the historic West Hollywood Sunset 5, is doing just fine in other parts of the city. They recently opened a new theater in North Hollywood and are reopening their renovated Laemmle Royal this week in West LA. And the Sundance Cinemas, which replaced the Sunset 5, are doing decent business after the old and out of date theater it replaced was upgraded. So while getting audiences to see indie, foreign, cult, documentary, and generally esoteric cinema isn't easy in an age of constant distractions from the internet and television shows that are nearly as good as most movies, there is an audience for those works that can be drawn out out their hovels for a unique cinematic experience. It's not that the audience isn't there for these films, it's that someone needs to guide their seats into the butts better than the owners of the defunct version of The Sunset 5 were doing by its last days.

All of which does not answer the question whether a place like Cinefamily can thrive in a city like Las Vegas. because it's unclear whether the audience is there... yet. But as Tony Hsieh's master-plan continues to gain steam, with a recent splashy NYTimes profile that argues he's bringing "Brooklyn to Vegas" adding to the mounting evidence that his crazy goal of turning Downtown into a livable and creative playground for smart entrepreneurs is actually working, then if the audience isn't quite there yet, they will be soon. Hseih recently gave $1 million to Venture for America, which places young and creative college graduates in under-served communities like Las Vegas to encourage entrepreneurship. This is the kind of thing that will keep driving the young, creative, talented, and curious to continue moving into the area... and that audience will be hungry for cool and interesting things to do in their new city beyond Sin City's most famous pastimes, gambling and drinking. Which means a cool and adventurous Cinematheque might have an enthusiastic audience sooner than later... particularly if the audience is informed and drawn in by an even more enthusiastic curator who mixes the programming just right with the kind of midnight cult stuff everybody enjoys along with more adventurous fare people might not have checked out otherwise. Imagine screenings at the theater that end with gatherings at Commonwealth or The Downtown Cocktail Room, where like-minded cinephiles can discuss Fellini or Bergman films over delicious themed cocktails, or argue passionately about the latest controversial works from provocateurs like Von Trier or Haneke. It's the kind of thing that works in cities like LA, New York, Austin, San Francisco, or Portland... but if Las Vegas, and particularly the Downtown neighborhood truly hopes to grow into a city comparable to those hip metropolises, then an eclectic Cinematheque can and should thrive there.

This was a long, rambling article, but it's something I'm passionate about. Tony Hseih is looking to create a real community people can be proud to call home in Downtown Las Vegas, and there are very few communal events that can be more magical than a truly special film screening. Perhaps Mr. Hseih and I should talk about opening a Cinematheque (or a SinCitymatheque) in the Fremont East District? Because Las Vegans should be able to see Holy Motors just as easily as The Hobbit.